How IBS-C Affects Your Relationships With Others

Fortunately, there are ways to improve your relationships.

When you have IBS-C, you’re dealing with abdominal pain, bloating, and constipation. With so many symptoms to juggle, your mental health is bound to take a hit.

“My patients with IBS-C often report feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and embarrassed,” says Supriya Rao, MD, a gastroenterology and lifestyle medicine physician and managing partner at Integrated Gastroenterology Consultants in Lowell, Massachusetts. “These feelings can lower self-esteem and seriously impact mental health.”

As a result, relationships — both personal and professional — can take a hit. “Many people with IBS-C struggle to make and maintain relationships, especially when it comes to friends and work colleagues,” says Dr. Rao.

For instance, some people may experience “brain fog” with IBS-C, which might make it difficult to keep up with conversations, she says. You might think that your physical symptoms keep you from fitting in, so you begin to feel isolated from peers and colleagues. It can also feel hard to go out to eat or take vacations with others. You might also have trouble expressing your emotions, which could further strain relationships, Rao adds.

Romantic relationships can be especially difficult to manage, including everything from dating to having sex. Because IBS-C flares make you bloated, it’s understandable that sex and intimacy would feel uncomfortable. And people with IBS-C are even more likely to avoid sex, have trouble concentrating, and feel self-conscious than people who have IBS with diarrhea.

“Many patients struggle with feelings of embarrassment and frustration due to the symptoms of their condition,” Rao says.

There are ways to avoid letting IBS-C get the best of you and your relationships with family and friends:

• Determine what helps you de-stress. Everybody has different ways to cope with stress, so experiment to see what works for you — meditating, cuddling with a furry friend, deep breathing, or reading, for instance.
• Get moving. Even if it’s uncomfortable, physical activity helps stimulate the digestive tract, which may relieve symptoms of IBS-C, says Emily Spurlock, a registered dietitian nutritionist who specializes in gut health.

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   Try walking, biking, strength training, or yoga — or just dancing around your house.
• Turn to friends and family. Although often embarrassing at first, “Sharing what you’re going through with close family and friends can help alleviate some of the feeling of isolation and create a support system,” Spurlock says. If you feel more comfortable socializing at home than in public (as many people with IBS-C do), try hosting small gatherings with people you’ve confided in, so you don’t feel so alone.
• Consider therapy. Look for a therapist or counselor who specializes in helping people manage chronic conditions, Rao says. There are also therapists whose main specialization is treating people with gastrointestinal conditions.

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• Join a support group. Whether in person or online, support groups for IBS-C can be beneficial, giving you a community of people who understand your situation and can relate to your experiences.

IBS-C can not only affect the platonic and familial relationships in your life, but also put a damper on romance and dating. These strategies can help you navigate some of the embarrassing or stressful moments:

• Decide when you want to open up. It can be difficult to decide if you’re going to tell somebody about your IBS-C, especially if you’re in a new relationship. If it’s affecting your dating life, then it might be wise to disclose the information after a few dates. Similarly, if IBS-C is having an impact on a new relationship and making it harder to get to know your partner, it could be time to open up. “Most people feel relieved when they share that they have IBS-C,” says Spurlock.
• Have a heart-to-heart. When you share your diagnosis, explain what the condition means for you and how it affects your daily life, Rao says. If you’re in a committed relationship, don’t be afraid to share your insecurities with your partner, even if it’s scary to do so.
• Plan IBS-C–friendly dates. Because IBS-C flares aren’t predictable, you won’t always know when you’ll need a restroom. With this in mind, think about activities you can do together that are less stressful, such as walking around your neighborhood or having a movie or game night.
• Work with a sex or couples therapist. IBS-C can often make sex tricky, especially with abdominal discomfort and changes in bowel habits. Plus, if mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, are in the mix, your sex drive might also take a hit. Rao suggests considering professional therapy because of the complexity of IBS-C if symptoms are severe.

The Takeaway

• The symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome with constipation (IBS-C) can cause anxiety or embarrassment, which can lower self-esteem.
• When planning a date, consider doing some activities near a bathroom, such as taking a walk around your neighborhood or having a movie night.
• If you're in a new relationship, consider opening up to your partner about your diagnosis.