How to Have a Better Dating Life if You Have Psoriasis

“For some people with psoriasis who are considering dating, the presence of the rash can be a concern, depending on its extent and location,” says David Pisetsky, MD, a professor of medicine and integrative immunobiology at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina. “If you have a lot of psoriasis in highly visible places, it can affect your mood and confidence.”

While dating with psoriasis can be daunting, navigating it is possible — read on for tips from experts and people living with the condition.

Dating and maintaining a healthy relationship are not impossible if you have psoriasis.

Take Karina Rabin, for example. During college, Rabin’s peers called her “Polka Dot.” She says they ridiculed her because of her widespread psoriasis. “I was covered in dots,” says Rabin. “It was very hard to date.”

Her love life may have been hard to navigate all those years ago, but the Colorado-based entrepreneur’s dating woes are in the past — she met a man who wasn’t fazed by her skin condition. Instead of running for the hills, she says, he asked her smart questions and did his own research on psoriasis.

Today, the two are happily married and run their own small business together.

Here’s how you can find your own happily ever after.

Choose the right time to share. The decision of when and how to tell a date about your psoriasis is an individual one, says Julie Shafer, PhD, a psychologist in Portland, Oregon, adding that it often depends on whether your psoriasis is visible or not. “It is a tricky dance, but you may not want to bring it up on the first date if it is not visible,” she says. “If it is visible, you may not have a choice.”

Rabin didn’t have a choice when she began dating her husband. “Luckily for me, he understood,” she says. If you are dating someone who values you for who you are, instead of what you look like, this should not be a deal-breaker, Dr. Shafer adds.

“Look for comments about how the person thinks and talks about other people,” Shafer suggests. “If they are not very understanding of others, I would hesitate about sharing with them, or even dating them,” she says.

Consider covering flares until you’re ready to share. “I used to always wear pants and long-sleeved shirts — how embarrassing when it was hot out,” Rabin says. Still, many people with psoriasis will wear makeup or strategically use clothing to give them a little extra confidence when dating. This is a personal choice, Shafer says.

Teach your partner about psoriasis. “Once you have divulged that you have psoriasis, take out your smartphone and educate your date on the disease, including the fact that it is not contagious,” Shafer says. Be prepared to answer questions your partner may have. Being open and honest about your symptoms and how they impact your life may help lead to a more understanding, supportive relationship.

Be open about intimacy. Psoriasis can affect your body image and may make you feel self-conscious about being intimate. And if psoriasis affects your genitals, sex may be uncomfortable and can make your symptoms worse. Before becoming intimate with a new partner, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about how psoriasis may impact your sex life. Talk about what feels good and what doesn’t, and explore other ways of being intimate if your symptoms make sex uncomfortable or painful.

Stay on top of your treatment plan. “Treating your psoriasis can help improve confidence when dating,” Dr. Pisetsky says. And that can make it easier to have the conversation about psoriasis on your terms. Your treatment options may include light therapy, topical medications, and biologics. Work with your dermatologist to find a treatment plan that works for you.

• Psoriasis can lead to mood and self-esteem issues that make it hard to date or consider being intimate with a romantic partner.
• Make sure that your potential partner is considerate and understanding before you share details about your health condition with them; the right person will understand and want to learn the facts, rather than make judgments or assumptions.
• Be open with your partner about how psoriasis can affect intimacy, and find creative ways to approach sex if symptoms cause discomfort or pain.
• Adhering to your treatment plan and maintaining a healthy lifestyle can improve your condition and help you feel better about life — and increase the chances you’ll feel more comfortable about dating.