Things happen faster on TV, from solving crimes to processing personal traumas.
Nonetheless, on the pivotal 1990s television series NYPD Blue, there were plenty of moments depicting the life experiences of the characters that I now and again reflect upon as I try to live my best life with multiple sclerosis (MS).
For example, in a scene from late in the series, a newly injured squad commander talks about making decisions forced upon him by a gunshot wound.
The clip is only about three minutes long, but when I rewatch it I can see many years of learning to live with my MS condensed into a few tightly clipped lines of dialogue.
We’ve All Had Some Dark Moments
“I’m not going to say I don’t have my dark moments thinking about it,” says the lieutenant in his hospital bed.
We’ve all gone down the dark path of “what ifs” and “how did this happens?” We’ve all bemoaned the possibilities taken away from us by the disease, the missed events, and the relationships lost or not reached for because of MS.
We’ve all stopped and wondered if we’re on the right road in how we’re coping, if we’re doing the best by our families and ourselves. We’ve all stopped, at one time or another, and wondered if the darkness was ever going to get brighter again.
But then the guy pulls this line out: “I know that the very best thing I can do for myself is to turn toward the possibilities that exist now.”
We Look for Light in Our New Reality
Yikes! It took me like — what? — five years to get to that place? That’s good writing for you. Take half a decade of someone’s experiences and mash it all up so a hero can deliver a one-liner like that even before all the test results are in.
But still, he has it spot-on! We live the life we have, we play the hand we’re dealt, we get up every time we fall … and we fall often.
When the darkness starts to shade my days, I try to turn to where the sun is still shining. And it’s always a little brighter somewhere in my line of sight.
Adjusting to a ‘New Normal’ Takes Time
We didn’t expect it to happen, we didn’t plan for it to happen, we aren’t happy that it happened. The “it happening” is, of course, our diagnosis with a life-changing disease like MS. But it did. It happened, and it is now what our lives are.
We stumbled. But we got ourselves back up (eventually), we started over, and we keep starting over.
We mayn’t get all the way there — and we’ll surely not get there in the time it takes for a well-written TV character to come to terms with things — but we’ll get as far down the path as we can and we’ll enjoy the journey as much as practicable.
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Cheers,
Trevis
