The scene: A group discussion at which I was waiting my turn to offer up thoughts and additions to the topic at hand. I had two points I wanted to highlight. I had thought about them and formulated what I intended to say. Then it was my turn to speak — and I completely forgot the points I wanted to make.
The points came back to me before the end of the discussion, but the big black hole in my memory in the moment was both uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Why did this happen?
I’d had a good breakfast after a relatively good night’s sleep. I’d gotten a lift to the meeting with a colleague rather than drive myself, and I had organized others to do most of the advance work. I was hydrated, wasn’t overly fatigued, and had a couple of cups of coffee onboard. I was as prepared as I could be.
MS and Cognitive Changes: A Common Problem
As explained by the National MS Society, memory issues come under the broader heading of cognitive changes in the MS symptom lexicon. These changes are experienced by at least half of us living with the disease even if, like other symptoms, we each experience them differently.
Memory lapses can be more than just embarrassing, however. When we lose our way in the world and get lost in our own neighborhoods, for example. How many times haven’t I suddenly looked around and wondered where in the world I had ended up, and it took me varying amounts of time to figure it out? And there are the times I find bruises and blisters on my body and cannot remember how or when the injuries were inflicted.
These can be frightening times.
And then there are the times I forget (more and more often these days) to turn off the water after brushing my teeth or washing my hands. How many minutes if not hours of water (and money) haven’t I wasted because of my forgetfulness? And that’s not even mentioning the dangerous times I forgot I’d left a burner lit on the hob or a pot on a burner without turning it off.
Surely smoke detectors should be deemed a memory assistive device!
Time for Neurological Evaluation
In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to laugh at the fact that while researching this piece, I stumbled upon a helpful blog about cognitive fog advancing into the realm of memory loss. It’s fitting for the topic of this blog that I was the writer of that blog, back in 2021, and I don’t remember it at all.
I’m due for an extensive evaluation with my MS neurology team in the near future. I guess I’ll have plenty to talk about during that exam. If, that is, I can remember to bring it up …
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Cheers,
Trevis
