Self-Care During Breast Cancer Treatment Is Your Lifeline, Not a Luxury

If there’s one thing I wish every woman in the world could fully embrace, it’s this: Self-care is not selfish. And this is even more important for the person facing a cancer diagnosis. In fact, as both a palliative care physician and a lifestyle medicine doctor (and as a BRCA1 previvor myself), I now live by the belief that self-care is the truest form of self-love. This isn’t just a mantra to repeat in an occasional yoga class, it’s a daily necessity — especially when you are in the thick of cancer treatment. Because, at the end of the day, prioritizing what you can control is one of the most powerful ways you can empower yourself.

For years during medical training, I thought of self-care as something I would squeeze in if there was “extra” time. In my mind, self-care looked like a bubble bath, a massage, or a weekend getaway. And I would feel guilty indulging in it. Years later, during the pandemic and after having two kids back to back, everything changed when I experienced a major complication after what I believed would be a routine risk-reducing bilateral mastectomy and total hysterectomy.

I had a major bleeding complication that left me very weak, stripping me down to the rawest version of myself I’d ever known. I had to rely on my husband for everything, from taking me to the bathroom to helping me shower.

One day, I was sitting in my recliner waiting for him to come upstairs to help me to the bathroom. In that moment, I felt the pain and frustration that so many of my chronically ill patients must have experienced. Losing your independence and ability to care for your most basic needs is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face.

As I sat in that recliner, my new mantra was born: “Self-care is not selfish; it is my self-preservation. It’s how I love myself so I can continue to love those that matter most to me.”

We’re conditioned by generations, especially as women and mothers, to do more for others than we’ll ever do for ourselves. But my life experience and every flight attendant will tell you that you must put your oxygen mask on first — especially when you aren’t feeling 100 percent.

What Is Self-Care and Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Self-care isn’t about fancy pampering. And it’s definitely not about perfection. It is a form of self-love that is about intentional, everyday habits that support your healing and unmet needs.

These can be as simple as a short walk in the sun, a gratitude journal, an early bedtime, or giving yourself permission to not do something you don’t feel like doing. Think of them as little ways to “fill your cup” without being overwhelming. Stacking these little habits can rebuild your strength and resilience when your body is in a weakened state from chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery.

After my surgeries, I prioritized daily walks, homemade smoothies (compliments of my mama), accepting help from those that loved me, and a daily gratitude practice. Every morning, I would write down three things I was looking forward to, and in the evening, three things I was grateful for that day. Sometimes it was as simple as “I’m excited my husband is going to wash and blow-dry my hair for the first time today,” or “I’m grateful I walked without pain today.” And this served as a beautiful daily reminder that although I was in a difficult season, there was still a lot of good happening in my life.

So, meet yourself where you are each day, with a ton of grace and compassion. The best part? Unlike most of the cancer experience, what self-care looks like for you is in your control.

Everyday Self-Love Habits That Matter Most in This Season

Here are a few evidence-backed, practical habits to infuse more self-care in your day, especially on nontreatment days when you are feeling up to it:

• Eat when you can (even when your appetite is low). Cancer treatment can negatively impact your desire to eat, but nourishing your body with fiber-rich, plant-based foods is one of the best ways to boost your immune system and support your gut. Smoothies are a great way to pack in a lot of nutrients and are easier to digest. Pro tip: Pack your smoothie with your favorite frozen fruit, put in a small umbrella, and enjoy a magical moment of being on a beach somewhere (even if it’s just a daydream).
• Move a little bit everyday. Aim to walk for 10 minutes every couple of hours, especially in the morning sunshine (when possible). Even gentle movement can help boost your mood, regulate your sleep, and lower anxiety.
• Prioritize sleep. Sleep disruption is very common during treatment for a variety of reasons. Try creating a calming bedtime ritual, keep your room cool, and get morning sunshine, which can help regulate your sleep-wake cycle.
• Give yourself permission to rest. Listen to your body and trust yourself. Your energy levels will fluctuate and that is okay. Save your energy for what matters most to you, including your self-care and important activities for the day.
• Find connection. Connection is a key self-love strategy that has been shown to improve quality of life and outcomes for people living with cancer. Find a support group, a friend to talk to, or an online friend who can resonate with your cancer experience. And don’t be afraid to ask for help and lean on the people who want to be there for you.

Finally, remember that self-care may look different in every season of your life. What you need in active treatment will look different from what you need in survivorship and beyond. Priorities shift and bodies change — and that’s okay. As you evolve through cancer treatment, your definition of self-care will also evolve. Have grace for yourself.

And the next time you feel guilty for putting yourself first, repeat after me: Self-care is self-preservation.

And you, my friend, are worth preserving.